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Something has invaded my body and it shows no signs of leaving

January 15, 2011

As follows are my assorted thoughts for the day, along with the fervent hope that I will update more regularly.

Pregnancy for morons:

Today I am 15 weeks pregnant. I received my weekly congratulatory e-mail from the scientific powerhouse of, which offered the following helpful question: “What do you do if you’re waking up hungry?”

Me, I like to eat breakfast. What’s your solution?

Caftan, Party of One and a Half:

The latest in maternity fashion

The latest in maternity fashion

Since I was “well-rounded” to start off, I don’t have a precious little baby bump. Rather, I have an odd growth in my upper torso, which I can only assume is perma-bloating, since I don’t generally gain weight there. My breasts can now open doors for me.

As of Wednesday morning, I had three remaining pairs of pants that fit. As of Wednesday afternoon, I had two. Blame it on the waste-of-time job training I went to, where tables were crammed so closely to the wall that a chalkboard reached out and grabbed my pants with its chalk tray, ripping a hole right across the ass on the one day I chose to go commando (what, your laundry is always done on schedule?). I yanked my tightening coat down over my bare, pasty and growing ass and slunk home.

The fact that I had to fight to keep from bursting into tears in the middle of the conference? I blame it on hormones. Or maybe the fact that I now had two pairs of pants left to wear.

Still in there, little fetus?

After a month flying solo, I have a doctor’s appointment Tuesday to find out what damage I have done to the kidlet. I’m pretty sure Guillermo’s still kicking, though, as evidenced by the fact that I not only can no longer eat onions (ingredient in every food I have ever loved), but cannot enter a room where an onion resides. In fact, I’m pretty sure the states of California and Georgia are now off-limits.

In theory, we can find out the sex soon. So far, we vote no. That decision is subject to change.

Feeding the gossip monster:

Everyone at work now knows I’m engaged. I’m dreading the moment when the pregnancy becomes known as well, and have no idea how to make that information public. They can’t think it’s a shotgun wedding at age 43, can they?

4 Comments leave one →
  1. kristine permalink
    January 17, 2011 10:21 pm

    happy new year, mama!

    can we laugh yet about the pants, or is it still too fresh? rest assured you are not alone in unplanned public nudity during pregnancy/early parenthood. remind me later to tell you about my experience flashing the Indian cricket team. repeatedly.

    25 weeks left !! are you planning on working right up to the end, or….?

    • January 17, 2011 10:34 pm

      Happy New Year to you — I believe your neighborhood is still dry, yes?

      We can definitely laugh about the pants, and we can laugh about my desire to cry about the pants. I am relieved to know I am not treading new paths in accidental nudity.

      I should have a month off if things go properly, due to the calendar of my job. Other than that, yes, my fervent and foremost hope for pre-delivery is NO BED REST. ‘Cause Mama needs to make some money for Baby.

  2. January 21, 2011 9:21 am

    Congratulations! I just popped over hear and found out the wonderful news! And, yes, the first trimester sucks. I hope you’re feeling at least a little bit better now that you’re at the 15-week mark.

  3. January 21, 2011 9:22 am

    Over “here,” dammit.

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