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Cirque de Soleil: Gravida

December 21, 2010

I think I know why I am so nauseated all the time. It’s not morning sickness; it’s motion sickness.

We had our first official OB/GYN appointment, and it made me tear up, being in the friendly confines of my longtime gynecologist, who helped lead me to this eggless point when he kindly removed two ovarian cysts in 2003 (I kid, he was doing his job). I never thought I’d see a male gynecologist, but I love this guy. Thick shock of white hair, riddled with sarcasm, curses liberally — just the kind of person I want peering into my nether regions. I almost hugged him. It felt like I had graduated, from Perilous Fertility Treatment to Regular If Slightly Decrepit Pregnant Lady. The nurse even mentioned she had her last kid (of eight!) at 43. It was nice to hear.

While there, we had our 11-week ultrasound there, a snazzy 3D/4D variety of the type you can get at your local Intrauterine Glamour Shots. I’m so pregnant, they even were able to do a belly ultrasound. It felt weird going to the doctor and not being violated six ways from an S&M club.

There, on the super high-tech machine that looked like a Fisher-Price toys, was Guillermo, acting like he/she was auditioning for Cirque de Soleil. Back flips, pirouettes, somersaults — I was half expecting the kid to use the umbilical cord as fabric to hang from the ceiling of my uterus.

Eleven weeks old, and the kid is already more athletic than either of its parents. Does this mean I’m going to have to learn how to catch a ball?

In other news, My Young Man liked it so much he put a ring on it Saturday night. The wedding itself is a long, long way off — I can’t imagine planning anything more than eating and sleeping right now, and despite all the ways I’ve thrown tradition out the window, I still want my wedding, dammit. I really, really do. I just want to make my own ring bearer first.

The proposal itself was super sweet and very creative. That night, he took me to dinner, where three-quarters of the way through I realized this engagement celebration would have gone better without the churning guts. Then we came home and I fell asleep.

Once again: Reasons to Get Married First. Learn from my mistakes, children.

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One Comment leave one →
  1. Kathy Johnson permalink
    January 6, 2011 11:53 am

    YaHOOOOOO! to you three! Your awesome little acrobat will keep mom and dad busy and prematurely wearing out their shoes chasing him/her across playgrounds and through life….

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