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Ready for its closeup

November 16, 2010

I am the mother of a beautiful grain of rice.

We had our first ultrasound Monday. I managed to put it out of my mind for most of the weekend because I knew the choice was between denial and terror. At this point, any baby was purely theoretical, something a nurse and the good folks at EPT insisted was true. Even though my swollen breasts agreed, I was unconvinced.

Not to mention how perilous the first weeks of pregnancy are. All we ever hear are horror stories, and we start to wonder how the human race could possibly continue when no one is allowed to procreate.

But there we were, in our Ross and Rachel moment, my feet in stirrups, My Young Man standing at my shoulders. “Hey, I get my own screen,” he said. I pointed out that we would be sharing that screen, seeing as it was my freaking uterus in the starring role.

The very smart, very kind ultrasound tech pointed to the picture. There it was. One beautiful black hole in my uterus. Never has a seemingly empty space been so welcome. We had just one embryo, just one gestational sac. Twins would have been nice as far as the insta-family goes, but a single baby meant a safer pregnancy and a more affordable life.

I actually had a little moment of teariness that this was actually happening, that there was actually some sort of life taking hold inside my body. Even if that life was only the size of a grain of rice.

Not surprisingly, I left the doctor’s office with a craving for sushi. For now, it would have to be the cooked variety.

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8 Comments leave one →
  1. Lenore permalink
    November 16, 2010 10:28 pm

    This is all so amazing!!

  2. Kathy J. permalink
    November 16, 2010 11:34 pm

    What a wonderful moment for you both! A peek inside can bring such relief and wonder. Keep up the good work Mama.

  3. Mel permalink
    November 17, 2010 12:35 am

    Your post makes me think of a song I think you may like. It’s by Roger Clyne and the Peacemakers (who are playing in Denver Friday night and I’m missing it!). It’s called “Grain of Rice.” Fantastic song.

  4. Lauren permalink
    November 18, 2010 8:43 pm

    You keep on gestating like a banshee. Sore boobs be damned…

  5. Kristine permalink
    November 19, 2010 12:55 am

    Swollen boobs – they call em jugs for a reason said a friend of mine when she ended up wearing a J cup after giving birth. Oh yeah.

    • November 19, 2010 7:23 am

      Please tell me they did not stay a J cup forever!

      • Cynnyc permalink
        November 19, 2010 3:06 pm

        I can’t even imagine how big your boobs are going to get. We’ll need photos.

      • kristine permalink
        November 21, 2010 6:49 pm

        Thrilled to report they went from C to J and back to C again. keep the faith!

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