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Would you like to supersize that?

October 11, 2010

It’s such an American concept: Where in the past you could just order one, now you can get two, for the same incredibly high price!

It is also the most insane decision we have had to make in a season of insane decisions: One embryo or two?

Gamblers, start your engines: With one embryo, the odds of conception are 65 percent. With two embryos, the odds are conception are 80 to 85 percent. A no-brainer, until you hear the heart-stopping next sentence from the jovial doctor on the other end of the line: With two embryos, your chance of twins is 45 percent. My uterus just asked for a veto, which it was denied, as it is a non-sentient participant in this event.

And now we feel like Tevye: On the one hand, we don’t want to pay for or endure this process a second time if at all possible. On the other hand, we are terrified of twins. We are terrified financially, of paying for two babes’ insurance, daycare, therapy. We are terrified physically, of the idea of nursing two kids at once (OK, I’m more terrified of that than he is). We are terrified prenatally, of the possibilities of complications and danger to both babes and mama (that would be me, who prefers her danger to be of the traveling-backroads-of-Latin-America variety to the four-months-of-bedrest/gestational diabetes variety).

On the other hand, I feel like I will not want to go through this process for a second child, even though I’ll be keeping embryos on ice. I feel weird doing this at 43; what would it be like at 45 for me? So would it be the worst thing in the world to have an instafamily?

My Young Man looked at me with tears in his eyes the other night and said, “I don’t want to risk having nothing at the end of this.” I was persuaded, as he has seldom been emphatic about something in this process. Tonight, though, he heard the number 45 percent and was slightly less insistent. There were references to flipping coins. And wondering whether heads or tails would constitute a win.

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